Question

Proszę zobaczcie czy są tutaj jakieś błędy i poprawcie je :)

Globalisation is a integration of economies, markets, cultures and policy-making around the world. Many people think, that globalisation is a good thing. I would like to write about it.
Globalisation has a lot of advantages. At first: we can send cards and messages in second on the internet, even to the people living in the other countries. These days we can travel everywhere by plane and we are able to spend our holidays in every place of the world like Hwaii or Maldives, what less than a hundert years was just imposible. Also big companies make it possible to buy the same products everywhere. For example: we can buy fruits like Mango, which are growing in India in Polen. Globaisation improve the quality of our lifes.
But Globalisation has also disadvantages. Planes, cars, buses and the othher mens of transport amount greenhouse gas, which couse climate change ang global warming. Also fossil fules pollutes the air. It is very dangerous for use, becouse it make breathing harder. Another con of globalisation is that, big companies still get richer, stronger and more powerfull, while many goverments get poorer. Of course a progress of Internet is very positive for people, but it globalisation can also help crimes: the can for example steal money through the internet.
In spite of many disadvantages i think that globalisation is a good yhing. It helps in improving our technology,our lives quality ang it chnges the way people think.

Answer 1

Globalization relies on international integration of economy, market, culture and policy around the world. Many people think that this process is appriopriate to our times. But do they have right? There are some advantages and disadvantages. 

The first argument for is the fact that thanks to the globalization occur the development in range of communication. We are able to have quick contact with people living abroad, for example through the internet or telephone. 
Secondly, globalization allows us travel to another countries. Nowadays we are able to spend our holidays in almost any place on earth. What is more, thanks to this it improves the relationships between people of different nationalities.   Thirdly, globalization removes barriers concern movement of goods imported and exported. Large companies make it possible to buy the same things everywhere. We can buy products which are not available in Poland, for example some exotic fruits. 
On the other hand, globalization also has some disadvantages.
It causes increase in the gap between rich and poor countries.
Secondly, it threaten continuity and authenticity of nationalities.This process destroys own culture and tradition of countries. In addition, it leads to americanization the whole cultures' of world.

Taking everything into consideration we can notice strong arguments for and against. I believe that globalization is the right process. It improves quality of our lives and maybe in some way helps people become more tolerant for people another nationality.

Myślę, że na początku jakieś zasady eseju for and against rozumiem, że miał taki być? Przede wszystkim nie może być naszej opinii ewentualnie w zakończeniu. Na wstępie tylko wprowadzenie tematu. Potem argumenty używamy firstly, secondly, thirdly, next, last but not least argument for/against i tak dalej. Każdy akapit musi zaczynać się zdaniem wprowadzającym, czystym argumentem, dopiero potem go rozwijamy. Nastepnie wporwadzamy argumenty przeciw możemy własnie użyć zwrotu "on the other hand".  Dobrze używać tzw. "linking words" tzn. - in addition, what is more, furthermore itd. Na zakończenie znowu któryś ze wzrotów np . - taking everything into consideration, taking everything into account, to sum up. itd. tu należy podsumować wszystkie argumenty i jak chcemy możemy wyrazić naszą opinię.
Pozmieniałam trochę tą rozprawkę jeden akapit ostatni usunęłam przepraszam ale naprawdę nic z niego nie zrozumiałam nic się tam nie łączy :( łap mam nadzieję, że pomogłam :)