Question

Proszę o sprawdzenie moich dwóch wypowiedzi: wiadomości i listu prywatnego:

Wiadomość:

Hi Lisa,
Today visit us my friend of the course- Tom. He needs guide to London, who lent me a week ago. I must go to work and you can give him the book?
Sorry about that.
XYZ

List:

Dear Peter,
Sorry I haven't written for so long. I hope you are fine. As for my latest news, I and my classmates organized a charity action.
We thought long over the appearance of this action. We decided that the best idea is to collect clothes and foots. Package gave the organization. This organization deals with helping poor people.
This was Mark's idea. I made a leaflets for this action.
At first we could not find az organization that works in our city. Helped us one of the teachers. He knew one of the members of the organization. Teacher have us his phone number.
The action was very popular. We collected 20 bags of clothes and 10 bags of food.
Give my regards to everyone at home.
Bye for now.
XYZ


Proszę o wskazanie błędów wraz z wytłumaczeniem dlaczego to jest błąd i poprawną interpretacją :)
Jest to moja praca domowa, wypowiedzi mają charakter tak jak na maturze, sporządzone do paragrafów. Nie będę tu ich podawać bo chodzi mi tylko o sprawdzenie poprawności tych teksów.

Z góry dziękuje :D

Answer 1

Hi Lisa,
Today my friend Tom from the course, will pay us a visit. [pay us a visit - zlozy nam wizyte]. He needs back his London guide, which he lent me a week ago. I must go to work, so can you give him the book?
Sorry about that.
XYZ

Wiadomość zawierała sporo błędów, nie rozumiem sensu pierwszego zdania. Jeśli dobrze zgadłem, miało znaczyć "Dziś odwiedził nas mój przyjaciel - to był oczywiście Tom"?
"who" oznacza kto/kogo, Ty natomiast pytasz o przedmiot, dlatego powinno być which - który.
I must go to work and you can give him the book? - szyk zdania, can you

Dear Peter,
I'm sorry, that I haven't written for so long. I hope you are fine. As for my latest news, me and my classmates organized a charity action.
           We thought long over the appearance of this action. We decided that the best idea is to collect clothes and food. The organization has given away the gifts. This organization deals with helping poor people.
          This was Mark's idea. I made leaflets for this action.
          At first we could not find an organization that works in our city. A teacher helped us. He knew one of the members of the organization and gave us his phone number.
          The action turned out to be very popular. We had collected 20 bags of clothes and 10 bags of food.
Give my best regards to everyone at home.
Bye for now .
XYZ

znów zgaduję - The organization has given away the gifts. - Organizacja rozdała podarunki [jeśli o to chodziło w "Package gave the organization", co w przetlumaczeniu na polski dawało: "Paczka dała organizację"...].
 I made leaflets - a przed leaflets jest niepotrzebne, gdyz leaflets to liczba mnoga.
Helped us one of the teachers. - szyk zdania, poprawniej powiedzieć: a teacher helped us, poniewaz wczesniej w tekscie nie wspominalas o nauczycielach, przez co nie pasuje "the".
Turned out to be - okazała się być
Jedzenie nie ma liczby mnogiej, footsfood

O wszelkie niejasności proszę pytać w komentarzach.