Question

Tolong dong dicek descriptive text saya, kira2 grammarnya ada yang salah ga? penggunaan verb,adverbia,noun, dll. bener ga... klo ada yang salah, tolong kasih tau donkk, mungkin ada yang bisa nambahin/penggunaan verb/adverb yang lebih baik,tepat. yang paling banyak membantu, pilihan terbaik :)

Everybody have their own computer, including me. I have my own computer. First, I’ll gonna explain about it’s physical form. My computer’s color is space gray. My computer’s weight is about 1,5 kilogram, it’s wide is 5 centimeter, and the height is 20 centimeter. Next, let’s talk about the hardware. My computer has a Intel Core 2 Duo processor with speed of 3,0 gigahertz. the processor is the main hardware in my computer. Not only that, my computer has the latest Video Graphics Array and Monitor. It’s Video Graphics Array is Intel Iris Graphics 6100 which has 512 bit and the monitor is Asus ROG Swift which the size is 20” inch, resolution is full HD, refresh rate is 144 hertz, and mostly important for me, it’s a flat monitor with just 5 millimeter thick. When I playing or working with my computer, it gave me the best experience I ever have.Now, I’ll gonna describe about the software. My computer has the latest Windows 7 Ultimate version which is the operating system of my computer. The operating system is the main software, if there’s no operating system in my computer, it can’t performing its basic or main function. But unfortunately, my computer has old applications. However, I will gonna update the old applications to the newest version. Many people can’t live without their computer, But lucky I’m not the part of them.

Answer 1

Everybody itu singular, jadi diikuti dengan has. lalu, gonna itu artinya going to, jadi seharusnya i am gonna explain atau i'll explain. kemudian itu seharusnya its, bukan it's, karena membicarakan tentang physical form milik si komputer (its menunjukkan kepunyaan). begitupun dengan it's wide, seharusnya its wide. lalu karena intel diawali dengan i, seharusnya menggunakan an. "the monitor is Asus ROG Swift which the size is 20” inch" mungkin bisa diganti menjadi "the monitor is 20" frame wide Asus ROG Swift". lalu, "with a full HD resolution". sebelum refresh rate mungkin bisa ditambahkan the. mostly important seharusnya most importantly. kemudian when I *play or work with my computer, it *gives me the best experience i will ever have/ i have ever had/i ever had (tergantung arti). i'll gonna dapat diubah seperti koreksi diatas. setelah can't harus diikuti dengan verb 1 yaitu perform. i will update. but luckily i'm not a part of them.
sekian koreksi yang saya bisa bantu... mohon maaf saya kurang mengerti tentang komputer :')

Answer 2

Everybody HAS their own computer including me. i have my own computer. first, i am going to explain about its physical form. my computer's color is space gray (its color is space gray), its weight is about 1.5 kg, its wide is 5 cm and its height is 20 cm. next, let's talk about its hardware. my computer has intel core 2 duo processor with the speed of 3.0 gigahertz. the processor is the main hardware in my computer. not only that, it has the latest video graphics array and monitor. the video graphics array ...(berhenti bentar ya ada tamu datang)